Finding My Voice

I have such a struggle with finding my discipline. I am not sure if it is my fear of failure, my fear of being seen, maybe it is my fear of being heard, whatever it is I always seem to quit. I am a yogi that always quits my practice. I am a writer that always stops writing, I vow to drink less only to accidentally overindulge because I am “having a good time” and honestly I don’t understand it all.

What am I so afraid of? What am I running from? There are so many unknowns with me. I always ask why I hold myself back and what are these demons inside me that so desperately want to hold me back. The only thing that I can think of and the only thing my therapist seems to think of is that I am afraid of failing. However, it seems like more than that. I have failed in my life so many times and when I think of failing I feel that it is a normal part of life. So it has to be something else.

I grew up wanting to fit in. I conformed because I wanted to be liked, and I didn’t want to be seen. That all changed years ago. For the most part I run in a pack that only consists of me. I live smack middle in downtown where I do not really fit in. I hear people talk of work and money, and deep in my soul I know these are not what my life is about at least. I live in a world where people tell me to get vaccinated and I don’t dare say that I would never get that vaccine. I believe the world is run but corrupt elites, that want to enslave us all, that we are actively fighting in a war that most are oblivious to, but no one want to listen to that. I believe that the hospitals and big Pharma have a goal to keep us sick or end our lives, again no one wants to hear, nor do they even think about these things.

So yes I have a voice, but I spend my days listening to people talk, and never really sharing my side of the story. Not because I am afraid but because a lot of people simply do not live in the world I do. We are all on different levels, and its not to say that my level is higher or better, the levels are simply different and it makes my world a lonely place.

I know that I live in a material world, where money is necessary. I dream of building a life that is my own, where I am not bound to an office working for a business that is not my own. However, just like so many others before me, I have no idea where to start. So I am starting here. I am finding my voice and sharing it with who ever wants to hear me. I am not here to persuade people into believing what I believe. I hate when people do that to me. I want to write the words that move me, and I want to share my experiences with the world. My intention is to help change the world, and raise the vibration so that in the future we live in a more vibrant cleaner world, where are not consistently being manipulated and poisoned.

I want to build a brand that honors our bodies, our soul and our mind. I want a brand that leads us back to ourselves. So many are so caught up in the idea that someone is coming to save them, but what if the only person that can save us is ourselves. No rich man, or politician is coming to save you. No pharmaceutical drug is going to save you. Now is not the time to turn to some Guru and find the answers. Now is the time to step into your power, and be your own Guru. Learn to sit with yourself and list to your heart. Your higher self knows what is best for you. It is time to reconnect with yourself.

XOXO

Brittany