First Time Mom Travels
My family and I took a winter vacation to Breckenridge. I use the term “vacation” lightly because as any mother knows that’s not what it was at all. However, traveling with my daughter is a dream of mine so having this experience with her was beautiful albeit stressful. I was so scared to fly with her. One, because I didn’t know what she was going to be like on an airplane, and two because I always worry about her diagnosis. I didn’t factor in the altitude of Breckenridge so this trip was rather hard on her body as well as mine. There were plenty of times that I was ready to come early. I went three days without any rest and by the time the rest of the family got there I was so tired that I ended up sobbing because I dropped a yogurt and when Quinn didn’t sleep Wednesday night I was ready to go home. Thankfully I got a little extra rest the next day thanks to my family and Quinn and I were able to finish the trip.
I know it doesn’t sound like I had a good time, but I did for the most part. Once my crippling fear over my daughter dissipated I was able to relax just a little. My daughter was able to see snow for the very first time and she loved it. She was a champion on the airplane because I have the coolest daughter in the world. I was in tears when we landed cause I am so blessed to have my little girl in my life. My girl slept most of the time on the plane and when she wasn’t sleeping she was pretty chill. How amazing is she?!?
Now that I am back home and getting back into the routine, I just wish I wouldn't have been so worried the whole time. I didn’t appreciate where I was while I was there because I was just scared to death that something was happening to my daughter. Deep down I think I knew everything was fine there was no inner alarm screaming that I needed to get her home right away but I was still so afraid. I still want to travel with my daughter and it was magical to see that dream coming true. She deserves to see the world because she has fought so hard to be in this life and I don’t want anything to take away from her. She deserves freedom just as we all do.
There are things left for me to do so that I can finally graduate. I am trusting that the Universe will send me the opportunity that I need to move forward. I do trust that it will all work out. I have learned so much over these past few months and while I believe that I have some control over the direction that my life takes I know that the lessons along the way cannot be bypassed. I needn’t be so obsessed with time but that is easier said than done because none of us know how long we will be here.
I know my journey is to serve. To not only heal myself but also help others heal themselves. Sometimes I wonder if all of the roadblocks mean I am not on the right track but then I think about the exponential growth I have gone through to get to this point and I know that in the future it will only make me better at my job. At the age of 36 ( I think ). I finally know what I want to do. I want to be an unconventional therapist and I want to write. I have never fit in before so it makes sense that I don’t want to do what everyone else is doing.
I want to build a financially free life so my daughter never has to worry about medical bills or receiving her surgeries. I want to travel the world with her and I don’t want my job to ever stop us from doing that. I want my daughter to know that she is capable of doing anything that she wants to do and she is so unique and special that it would be a loss to the world if she put herself into a box the same as I have all of these years.
This trip helped me to realize exactly what I want and to finally know that is a miracle.
XOXO
Brittany