The Freedom of Choice
I have been struggling with an insecurity problem and its not really something I have struggled with before. My life is much different than it use to be. Being someone that identified with work, it has been incredibly difficult to navigate the life without bringing in my own money. The truth is I like being independent. I still like it, but it’s something that I am working towards from a healthier place. There was a time in my life when I sought approval from all of my external outlets. I have mentioned before that I needed to be liked, and I needed to have friends. (I couldn’t be more different now lol but that is beside the point.) I can count on one hand the number of friends I have. I barely see them but I love them dearly. I would rather spend my days and nights reading, doing yoga, and feeling the baby move around in my belly. ( My new favorite thing in the whole world.) There is something about this world right now that is just off to me. Things almost do not feel real, and the things I can see with my eyes seem meaningless. I look at the division, these so called politicians, even the internet as a whole and I wonder what is the point of it all. Is there a point at all?
I use to be in search for the true meaning of life. (Whatever that means) and even that didn’t feel right. What exactly was I looking for? I can’t tell you that because I have no idea. I am finding more and more that the point of life is simply living, yet just this simple right is being threatened more and more everyday, but not only our government, but by people who think differently than ourselves. I watched a video of a girl wo was thrilled to be locked up in a hotel for 10 days, and it was her day and time to take a walk outside. She was so excited, and a part of me could not believe that she wasn’t terrified. That she didn’t understand that her right to move about freely had been severely compromised, and she was okay with it.
Many will disagree with me when I say that we must take responsibility for ourselves, including our health. How many people work up today, and drank plenty of water, ate a meal that fueled the body? Do you plan to exercise today? Can you recall you thoughts this morning? What was going on there? Our physical and mental health play a role in how we show up in the world. It is not the job of doctors, my fiancé, or family to make sure I am healthy. This is my job and my job alone, and I believe that people should have the freedom to make those choices no matter what those choices are. My health, and the protocols I have set into place for myself is my business not anyone else. I will not spend my energy justifying my choices, nor should anyone else. Instead I will go about my days the best way that I see fit because this is my birth given right. How strange of concept to believe that someone else has the right to tell me how to live my life. How on earth would someone know what is best for me other than me?
I am learning to listen to myself, and trust myself. Far too long I gave me power away and the world needs more people to take their power back more than ever. However, this journey is not so simple. We have been taught that we are powerless, and limited. Getting to a place where I truly believe that I am limitless is no easy feat. It takes time to unravel old beliefs. Especially if those beliefs have been with you your entire life. One of my first steps in getting started with this process is first recognizing my limited beliefs, and now making small changes to unravel. I have found that when I take care of myself physically it helps jumpstart my mental work. If I am feeling better physically I am better able to confront those darker aspects of myself with love and compassion.
No alcohol has been a game changer for me. I always knew that it would be but I never made the lasting effort to not drink. It was just too easy to drink, sad but true. Thanks to my pregnancy I don’t drink, and other people aren’t constantly pressuring me to drink which helps. Being pregnant as a whole has jumpstarted my physical health and is a journey I wish to continue long after my daughter is born. The truth is I love healing, especially physically, but as always I make small sustainable changes.
What are you doing today to improve your health and well-being?
Much love to you,
Brittany