We Don’t All Have To Have The Same Opinion
I have been thinking a lot about being a woman lately. It is strange to admit this but I am not sure I have ever given it much thought. I am sure my pregnant has almost everything to do with it, but I also feel like feminine energy is being attacked. I was searching through the internet the other day and I saw a lot of doctors, midwives, and doulas, referring to women as “birthing people”. I am not entirely sure why this is even a thing but its definitely a train that I am not getting on. I am a women, and what my body is doing right now is BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING! (discharge and farting aside haha) I am not going into a rant about why gender is important. I will say there are two genders, some people yes may struggle with identity for whatever reason, and you will not convince me to play this pronoun game.
Growing a baby is such a miraculous experience, and I feel like it is being watered down by society by reducing women to birthing people. It is just gross honestly. I am incredibly open minded but there are just some boundaries and for me this is one of them. With all of that being said, I do not intend for this post to be about gender. While it does sound like I am not being supportive, this isn’t the case. I have been thinking a lot about what I want to build here. I share my thoughts and experiences, because I believe I long for a sense of community since I don’t really have that. Yes I have a wonderful family, and partner, but it would be amazing to just have different people out there who don’t know my history who can provide insight. Relationships are hard, pregnancy is weird, and motherhood is life altering. Women seem to be so busy comparing and competing against each other that find a supportive environment is very hard to come by. I want to be a part of the movement that brings women back together.
All women are different. The way we look, talk, interact, mother, and just simply live, is different from one person to the next. What is right for me may not be right for someone else and for me that is okay but why is it not okay for a lot of people. There was a woman online who had quite a following who had nothing nice to say about a particular way a woman was choosing to give birth to her baby. Now, I am not sure what the “influencers” birthing experience was but I was more concerned with why she thought her way, or her opinion was the superior choice. Just because you have a different opinion doesn’t mean that someone else opinion is invalid. I am not sure where this belief originated from but I really wish it would stop.
I am not on board with cancel culture of any kind. I can quietly not support a company by not buying from them if I don’t agree with their viewpoint, but I don’t need to publicly burn their product to prove my point. Not giving them my money is effective enough if that is what I choose. I don’t believe that anyone should have any say on your health choices. Why we live in a society that thinks it’s okay to be all up in someones personal business like that I have no idea, but either way I don’t agree with it. I wouldn’t want someone burning down my house for my beliefs. I don’t need to incite anger or violence just because I don’t like what you are doing. I can voice my opinion, I can stand firm in my beliefs but he doesn’t need to get ugly or violent. Speaking my truth and living that truth is enough. In my opinion of course :)
I have shared very little about what my plans are as far as my pregnancy goes because instead of people openly discussing their experiences, they judge you, demand you do what they did, and call you stupid or incompetent for questioning them. The mom world is a new world for me so I can’t claim to know much. I assumed it would be a loving and accepting environment but unfortunately it is brutal. I assumed that since we are all different people with different lifestyles it would be a safe assumption that parenting styles would differ as well. I was naive to think it would be that simple. It is less about “Hey mothering is hard lets support each other” and more of “I’m a better mom than you.” I am going to do what is best for me and my baby, and that might look a lot different than the way others mother their children and I don’t see why their choices are any of my busy and vice versa.
If I have a question I believe I will ask. I see why so many moms are like “no I don’t need your unsolicited advice” because it is almost not advice at all. It is basically what they did and they need to be validated for their choices. It is so much more about the other person than it is about helping me. I am open to discuss all things. I am not afraid to openly hear another side to the story. Our opinions don’t manifest out of thin air. There is a reason we believe what we believe and I think having an open discussion of how we got to where we are is an important discussion to have.
I am sending you all so much love and I hope that many blessing are just falling down upon you.
Lots of Love
Brittany